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But things take a change when he meets a bullied, neglected kid who thinks he’s the real deal. It’s a good racket, if the self-loathing Santa can keep from drinking himself to death. Nick, a mall Santa teamed up with a dwarf in an elf costume to rob stores blind on Christmas Eve. Billy Bob Thornton plays a drunken, sex-addicted, foul-mouthed St. It starts with Santa puking hard liquor in an alley and only gets worse from there. Downey does his best loveable rogue as Harry Lockhart, a thief masquerading as an actor who gets paired up with private investigator Gay Perry (Kilmer) for a role - and then the two get drawn into a murder mystery. and Val Kilmer were two washed-up names that didn't instill a lot of confidence in the mid-aughts, but they proved riotously funny in this hard-boiled Christmastime black comedy written and directed by Shane Black (of "Lethal Weapon" fame). I recommend watching the version as covered by cult-comedy TV show “Mystery Science Theater 3000” with a generous serving of spiked eggnog. And that’s exactly why it’s such a treasure.
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You could drink paint thinner for years and never reach the level of brain-damaged insanity necessary to make a movie about Martians kidnapping Santa Claus seem like a good idea. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” (1964, not rated)įrom start to finish, everything about this sci-fi B-movie is a mistake. It’s one of the earliest slasher flicks, and it comes courtesy of director Bob Clark – yes, the same Bob Clark who directed “A Christmas Story.”Ħ. A killer sets up shop in a sorority house attic over Christmas break, where the sisters are terrorized by obscene phone calls and murder. This holiday horror classic decks the halls with dead sorority girls. He comes down the chimney not with a sack but with an ax.
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Nick we know and love, but an escaped serial killer in a Santa suit. In “And All Through the House,” directed by Robert Zemeckis, a woman who has just murdered her husband on Christmas Eve gets a surprise visit from Santa Claus – not the kindly St.
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The long-running anthology horror TV series is full of gruesome gems, but one of the best episodes of the first season has a Yuletide twist. Leary turns out to be the world’s unluckiest cat burglar when he holds hostage a Connecticut couple (Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) with a marriage so dysfunctional, he ends up refereeing their family fights.Ĩ. And Dennis Leary’s the star, so if you prefer your Christmas fare not to take the Lord’s name in vain, look elsewhere. “I have never heard of such a Christmas! Sex, and drugs, and women being set on fire!” A warning to some, a siren’s song to others. It’s a trashy splatter film best watched in irony. The fun really starts when Billy’s grown up enough to wear a bloody Santa suit of his own. After his parents are murdered by a man in a Santa suit, traumatized young Billy is sent to an orphanage run by the abusive Mother Superior. There are two types of people in the world: Those who want to see Santa Claus kill a nun, and those without a sense of humor. “Silent Night, Deadly Night” (1984, rated R) If you’re looking for some twisted holiday cheer far off the beaten path, try one of these twisted Christmas flicks.ġ0. It’s also murder, mayhem, Santa Claus fighting Martians and monsters that should never be fed after midnight. It’s “Miracle on 34th Street,” “A Christmas Carol” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Christmas is good cheer, fresh-baked cookies, cozy nights by the fire and good will toward men.